Articles & Links
LINKS
Helpful Websites:
www.aarp.org American Association for Retired Persons
www.seniors.gov government web portal for seniors
www.pcoa.org Pima Counsel on Aging, Tucson, AZ
Service network: services include
www.pcoa.org Mature Worker Connection (job placement assistance for 50+).
www.ssa.gov Social Security Administration
www.self-directed-search.com Career Discovery assessment tool
www.keirsey.com Personality typology and career / values tool
www.monster.com career website with resume and interview helps
www.thephoenixlink.com Connects experienced executives and technologists with interim and full time management opportunities
www.tucsoncoaches.com Tucson Coach Alliance, ICF affiliated chapter for Tucson Coaches
www.coachfederation.org
International Coach Federation, professional association
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ARTICLES
THE "NEW RETIREMENT”: ARE YOU READY!
By Sally Raduenzel
When do you plan to retire? Lots of people like you and me are asking that question every day. In fact 10,000 people retire every day in this country according to “The New Retirement, Discovering Your Dream” by Richard Johnson, Ph.D., an expert in the field of retirement readiness assessment and planning. According to Dr. Johnson, the average age for “first” retirement is 57. Considering this younger age it makes sense that “retirement” doesn’t look like it did when our parents thought of it as “old age pension” time.
Do you resist the idea of “retirement” because of your beliefs and ideas about what it means? The Department of Labor gives this definition of retirement: “working less than full time (40 hours) weekly, and obtaining a portion of monthly income from a retirement or 401K or investment vehicle”. When these factors are in place a person is considered to be retired by definition. This hit home with me. I moved to Arizona six years ago, leaving my full time job behind and began my Coaching business in Tucson. Although time and effort were involved, I also wanted more play time than I had while working for the State of Colorado, Department of Labor and Employment. However, I had resisted the idea of being “retired” because I was still working and building my business. I have come to realize that I am retired, and my “1st” retirement career is as a Life Coach, along with a couple of other hats that I am trying on as well.
The old paradigm of retirement equates it with being old, losing our work identity, perhaps not counting as much. The “New Retirement”, Dr. Johnson points out is an important career developmental stage. Yes, I said career. Combined with a longer life expectancy and the trend toward retiring earlier, we can expect to be in this “Renewal” stage for 30-40 years; longer than any other developmental stage of our life. The life/career developmental model referred to is from Donald Super, a pioneer in life span developmental theory. He created a four stage model to express life developmental stages: 1. Exploration, 2. Mastery, 3. Mentorship, and 4. Renewal. Dr. Super theorized that we cycle through these stages during our life. As I assist people with life transitions I know that we repeat this cycle again and again throughout life if we are open to life long learning. Thus it becomes a vital part of our retirement preparation to look not only at financial goals but career and life planning as well.
Experience tells us that our best life and career decisions are usually made after a period of introspection and soul searching, often accompanied by spiritual growth. This “New Retirement”, a phrase coined by Dr. Johnson, is certainly a critical period of our life toward which to plan. He encourages people to take his retirement readiness assessment, the “Retirement Success Profile” (RSP) at 5 year intervals starting 15 years before they plan to retire and again at 5 year intervals after they retire. As I coach people who are retired or retiring I find that most are looking for new meaning, doing what they love, finding purpose, and deepening spiritual connection.
The task of redefining who you are now and who you want to be, asking the questions: why am I here, what is my mission statement for my life now, and how can I get the most out of the next 30-40 years is very daunting. This is where the idea of a retirement trained coach comes in and offers support and structure during this process.
Speaking for myself, the incorporation of this paradigm of the “New Retirement”, and understanding the “renewal” stage has freed me up to look at my options with more fun and creative intention. Doing what I do because I enjoy it, because it gives me meaning in my life, and continuing to learn and grow through work and hobbies is a delightful way to be in the world.
The “New Retirement” is an exciting way to approach life. Looking at retirement as a beginning rather than an ending is a powerful perspective. Reframing how we see ourselves and planning for this “renewal” phase takes time and energy, but the satisfaction and rewards are worth it. So, happy planning and happy “New Retirement”!
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CARING FOR THE CAREGIVER: 5 LESSONS LEARNED
My life changed dramatically on January 5, 2002 in ways I would never have expected. That’s the day that my husband Ed got his cancer diagnosis after a biopsy that was expected to be benign. The following three years I found myself thrust into the role of caregiver, living through an experience I never could have imagined. Like many caregivers I experienced the increasing demands between care giving and maintaining a job or career and I experienced increasing stress and some frustration with the balancing act that ensued.
Ed didn’t survive the cancer. This article was started while we were fighting the good fight, and praying for healing. He passed away in November of 2004. I can only say that he lived as fully as possible until he died. He gave a valiant effort with both conventional and alternative treatments. He wanted the best for me too. As we faced the care giving together, Ed supported my need to care for myself as well. This chapter is dedicated to him.
As a Life Coach I’ve talked with and coached caregivers who are re-creating their lives after care giving for a friend or family member. What I learned from them helped me as I cared for Ed. Knowing their stories and living my own has allowed me a small insight into this major life area. Telling this story and sharing some of our experience feels a little uncomfortable because we have been rather private people, but I think Ed would agree with the hope that our shared experience and that of friends and clients will prove helpful as people enter or continue the care giving role.
In the beginning care giving was private and felt rather isolated because it was between the two of us. That is the way most caregivers begin and often continue their role, in a mostly solitary manner not realizing that there are support systems of many kinds available to them. When I started to look, I found books, information, and links to local and national organizations displayed at our local library. There were support groups available to help live with care giving. I also had friends and family who were willing to help me. It was a comfort realizing that this wasn’t a journey I had to face by myself.
In the beginning nothing could have prepared me for the reality of being a caregiver. If anyone had said a few years ago that I would have such a life altering experience I would have brushed them aside and denied that things would change so much! The phrase “never say never” comes to mind. As Ed’s cancer progressed he started chemotherapy treatment and care giving became more intense. The experience was like a wild roller coaster ride in all regards; mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually.
As time went on this roller coaster ride left me pretty “strung out”. Once I realized this I began using my coaching knowledge and the help of my coach to care for myself and go through the experience in a healthier manner. I would love to say that I came to this approach easily because of my great enlightenment as a coach; unfortunately it started the hard way, when I became physically ill.
It began in the early stages when I felt like “I should do it myself” and not impose on others to do “my job”. Feeling I had to handle it myself and having the “helping personality” it was hard to ask for help. There might also have been some “martyr complex” hiding in the wings. You know, the hand on the forehead, the sigh, and the classic phrase “it’s okay, don’t mind me, I’ll be alright” (a little dramatic but you get the picture).
I finally realized that I couldn’t continue to effectively help Ed if I wasn’t taking care of myself, and wasn’t up to the task. The 5 Lessons Learned that evolved from this realization helped me to care for Ed with love and to care for myself also with love.
Lesson 1: Assemble a Support Team
Remember the Ghost Buster’s movie, with the phrase “Who do you call…”? Asking for and receiving help was the first big lesson I had to learn during this time. People wanted to help and asked what they could do. Part of my job was learning to tell them what I needed. A friend and client I’ll call Joanne handled this in a creative way when she asked four friends to come to her house for a “cleaning party”. One friend catered lunch and the group did a thorough cleaning job, sang and laughed, and had a great time!
- Find a nonjudgmental person to listen
My coach was part of my team because she supported me and gave me a safe place to vent and then focus. My fear was that she would push me too far or set expectations I wasn’t comfortable with. Staying with me where I was proved very important during this time. Her ability to stay open and receptive helped me survive the experience.
Joanne, created a list of people who had offered to help, and then brainstormed a list of possible needs. This made it easier to ask for help and know who to call when a need arose.
Hiring help for some household and yard chores can help keep the focus on more important things. Having someone help clean the house allowed me to spend more time with Ed and also to nurture myself.
Lesson 2: Practice Self Care
I learned this the hard way when I developed a very severe muscle contraction in my neck and back with pain down my arm, with fingers tingling and going numb. I finally got the message and started taking better care of myself as well as asking for and accepting more help. After that experience I did my best to make and keep medical appointments as necessary. I think we all have known care givers who have neglected their own care for years and then were surprised when their health deteriorated after a loved one died.
- Relaxation and breathing techniques
One breathing technique that I love is from the yoga tradition and has been called “Breathe for Me”. I used this to relax and calm down as well as go to sleep. I would close my eyes and concentrate on my breath while imagining the universe doing the work for me. Imagining a huge bellows expanding and contracting to create my breathing helped me relax into this effective practice.
It was a challenge for me to create a list of activities that make me smile and create happiness and a sense of well being. My coach encouraged me to complete this exercise. I enjoyed using the list to choose pleasurable activities that helped relax and center me. Some examples from my list were: take a walk, enjoy the sunset, bubble bath (of course), lunch with a friend, yoga, exercise, shopping, etc. Doing the activity with awareness that it was nourishing me was powerful.
Getting out for a walk was great exercise for both Ed and me, and we did it as often as possible. The challenge later on was to continue taking walks when he didn’t feel up to it. We paid a lot of attention to nutrition and diet as we learned how important they are in relation to cancer. I know that we both felt it was worth the effort. Each person has to follow the path that feels right to him/her.
Lesson 3: Take Time Out
At first I felt guilty about taking a painting class. However, taking it was one of the best things I could have done. I got past my guilt and Ed got used to my being gone for the afternoon. Art allowed me a way to express myself and escape for a while as I worked with my watercolors. Watching my progress gave Ed a lot of pleasure and we both benefited from my improved disposition when I returned from class!
- Get “kidnapped” by friends
Another client, Carol, had a particular friend who would call up every so often and tell her she wanted to kidnap her for lunch. Carol thanked and encouraged friends to call her and stay in touch because she wasn’t in the mindset to call them. Asking for the support of friends was another growth place for her. She said that friends who called and stayed in touch with her were one of the most valuable assets she had.
Sometimes just taking a book or a journal and extending a grocery shopping trip by stopping for coffee and writing down my thoughts was very refreshing and renewing. That’s how this chapter was born, by the way, with my laptop and latte close at hand. Using those few extra minutes helped me refresh, refocus, and renew. A man I talked with one day shared that as a caregiver for his mother and his wife he was running in circles. Taking a few minutes for him was a real luxury, one he truly needed.
Lesson 4: Allow emotions
Ed and I had many heartfelt talks. We shared the spectrum of our hopes, dreams, love, despair, anger, frustration, and beliefs. Many tears were shed along the way, both with him and in private. Friends remark at how well I have handled the course of the illness and now his loss. It isn’t easy but I think that allowing the emotions along the way has helped.
- Forgiveness and self love
Practicing forgiveness and nurturing self love has been an ongoing exercise for Joanne during her husband’s illness. Forgiving herself and others and learning to let go was and is a challenge. We strive to control what we can and attach meaning to what is happening to us and our loved ones. Books have been written about the metaphysical meaning of illness and the importance of forgiveness of ourselves and others in the healing process.
Realizing that there were changes occurring simultaneously on many levels was very unsettling. Change was occurring and life would never be the same, whether Ed recovered or not, the experience and what we were going through was changing both of us. An example of this type of change was illustrated by Shirley’s husband who survived two years after cancer treatment. She reported during our coaching sessions that he was very different. He turned into more of a recluse and became very abrasive toward her as well. We worked on ways for her to build a life that she could be happy with, which included going out to the theater with friends and creating a new schedule for herself including exercise.
Lesson 5: Celebrate Spiritual Growth
After the shock of the cancer diagnosis and decisions for treatment, the job of living with the illness settled in for Ed and me. Having a vision of healing and hope was important to both of us. Spiritual connection and having a church community to support us was so valuable. Praying, and being prayed for, asking for guidance, and being open to it when it presented itself helped us maintain a sense of balance and perspective.
- Following a spiritual path
Our journey through illness was a growing place for both of us. We both believed that we are spiritual beings having a human experience. This provided a foundation for us to learn lessons and try our best to stay in the present moment. A very important thing to Ed was to enjoy the moment and be fully present for each other. We both learned to experience each day and really enjoy the air, sun, plants, water, and each other.
These 5 Lessons Learned are only a small part of an answer to the challenge of care giving. During intense times we survive as best we can. The gift we can give ourselves is honoring the importance of paying attention to our needs and doing the best we can to stay healthy. Doing so honors the one we are caring for as well as ourselves.
Friends and relatives supporting caregivers often wonder how best to help them. By remembering that it may take caregivers some time to come to terms with what they need and how to accept other peoples’ help, friends can continue to quietly be there to step in when needed. Care giving is sometimes a thankless job and it is valuable indeed to acknowledge caregivers for what they are doing and remind them that they are doing the best they can under difficult circumstances.
There is so much more that could be said, but in sharing these thoughts I also want to acknowledge caregivers for the path they are on. Each story and situation is as unique as the individuals. My vision and wish for fellow caregivers is to come out on the other side of these life events as healthy people with more awareness of who we are and how connected we are to the universe and each other.
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COACH'S CORNER: WHERE ARE YOU STOPPING YOURSELF?
March 2002
About three months ago my Coach, Marge, gave me an inquiry at the end of our session. My sense is that she was giving me the proverbial “kick in the seat of the pants”, only doing it in her loving, coaching way. The inquiry (an open ended question to think about and journal on during the week) was “where am I stopping myself”. I wrote it on a sticky note and posted it on my mirror. Thinking about the phrase for the next several days I was struck by the ways that I was stopping myself.
On the surface it looked like I was moving ahead on many fronts; coaching clients, participating as Board member for the Tucson Coach Chapter, finishing coursework on coaching certification, preparing for family to visit during the holidays, maintaining a household and enjoying my personal relationship with my husband. Inside however, I was feeling stuck - and low energy. I was being faced with a decision that felt scary and overwhelming to me.
During this time, on a training call for coach certification, I was coached on how I was feeling about life. The leader used a phrase, Alive-O-Meter coined by a CTI (Coaches Training Institute) coach leader, to ask “where is Sally’s Alive-O-Meter?’ The numbers given between 1 and 10 were pretty low, let me tell you. Not good for someone whose mission in life is to “bring out the magnificence in myself and others”. That was a double wake up call for me to find out where I was stopping myself.
Where are you stopping yourself? What risk are you sidestepping? Where are you selling out on your magnificence? What does it mean to say YES! What can make your Alive-O-Meter sing?
To begin working on myself I used an affirmation, and a phrase that motivated me to take the step and move beyond my “stopping place”. The affirmation was: I, (your name) am up to stretching! The phrase that motivated me was: When I say YES; Make my Choice, I come Alive! Another motivating force was the book Can a Girl Run for President by Christine Harvey. Ms. Harvey champions girls and women (men too) to stand up and stand for their convictions.
We are all works in progress, but we can be sure that “God don’t make junk”. My personal decision was in the form of stepping out to hold the office of President of the Tucson Coaches for the 2002 year. I am showing up and saying YES. I don’t know what this year will hold for me around learning and growing; but in the spirit of stepping out I wish each of you a vision filled year where you SHOW UP AND SAY YES.
I will leave you with an inquiry in the spirit of taking off the stops: WHAT AM I SAYING YES TO TODAY!
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COACHES CORNER: STATING YOUR INTENTION
“Through the word you express your creative power. Regardless of what language you speak, your intent manifests through the word...Through the word we manifest everything; we express our will, our intent, our love and our faith, which are all the same thing.....Faith is the impeccability of the word. To have faith is to believe 100 percent without a doubt. Faith is how the word is manifested, it is how we guide our intent. To have great faith is to have great power because our intent, our will is undivided.”
Don Miguel Ruiz
(The Four Agreements Companion Book)
Recently I gave a speech on The Power of Intention. I talked about the 5 components that create this power. Last month in the Coaches Corner I wrote about these
5 components which are: 1. Set a Clear intention, 2. Face the fear that invariably shows up, 3. Gain support from a Life Coach or valued acquaintance, 4. Focus and be in action, 5. Celebrate the steps along the way as well as the end goal.
This month I am focusing on intention, what it is, and why and how to use intention for your benefit. What is intention and how is it different from setting goals? A dictionary definition of intention states that it is the purpose one has or wants to achieve. Let’s take a closer look how to frame an intention and what an intention is really about.
Rev. George Wrigley, of the Community Church for Positive Living in Tucson, Arizona says “Nothing is more powerful than a determined intention. The Universe is always saying YES. We get to decide what it is saying yes to.” An intention is the overarching idea of the outcome you wish to achieve. It is the vision that guides you. It is like a rainbow overarching and framing the path (goals) which leads to the pot of gold.
For example, a vacation is just a good idea until you put a frame around it and take steps to have it happen. Deciding on your intention for the vacation like “I want to take a relaxing vacation, in a warm place by an ocean” can help you decide where you want to go. Setting goals about when and how to have the vacation happen is the path to the actual vacation trip “pot of gold”.
Intentions can be created about small as well as large issues. Stating an intention for your day and keeping it in mind can help smooth out bumps in the road as they happen. Creating intentions for your near and long term future can keep you moving forward.
There is no “right way” to word an intention but I want to offer some thoughts to help you create a powerful word picture “to express your creative power”:
1. Setting an intention activates your creative potential
2. Connecting personal values with intention give it power
3. Emotion and Faith create staying power
Questions to ask when framing an intention:
1. What is a vision for your life, or a desired outcome?
2. What personal value(s) does this outcome support?
3. What will you have when you have this outcome?
4. What is the compelling way that will hold your faith and propel you toward your desired outcome?
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COACH'S CORNER:DISCOVER THE POWER OF INTENTION:How to Put More Ease and Joy in Your Life Journey
September 2002
An often used definition for insanity says that insanity is doing something the same way over and over, and yet expecting a different result. Another variation states that if you continue in the direction you are going, you will end up where you are headed.
Both of these sayings speak about doing things differently, but differently how? How do we make the decision to look at our life differently? And, when we do, how do we have influence on how it comes out? The key, I believe is in making the choice to set an intention and begin to move in that direction. Who do you want to be in 1 year or 5 years? What values do you want to live by, and what are your natural talents waiting to be expressed? How do you see yourself “expressing” in the world?
As a coach, my challenge for you is to reserve time to reflect on these questions. Next, use the Five Steps outlined below to head in the direction you determine, not just “the way you are headed”.
5 Steps to Creating and Expressing The Power of Intention
1. Set a clear intention
2. Make friends with fear
3. Create support
4. Focus and action
5. Celebrate results
What often happens when you set the intention and start defining the steps (also known as goals) to realize the intention is the inner voice reminding you of your limitations and all the reasons this “grand plan” won’t work. The courage to look beyond the fear is the first challenge and can be ongoing while you move in the direction of your vision.
One way to handle the inner fear is to acknowledge it and make friends with it. Rich Fettke, in his book Extreme Success uses the metaphor of the stop sign. Fear is a stop sign that tells us to “stop, look, and proceed with caution”. The stop sign doesn’t mean turn around and go back home. Anytime we embark into new territory, our fear and self doubt will surface; count on it! Use this metaphor to help you stop, check things out, and then proceed toward your destination.
The third powerful step is finding a support partner. Personal and Business Coaches are rapidly gaining popularity to fill this role. Another avenue that Rich Fettke talks about in his book is a support partner who agrees to support you without giving advice, and helps you stay focused. He offers guidelines and a “support contract” in his book.
Focus and Action, the fourth step is the center of your success and without this step, years will pass and you then say “I wish I had...” One client commented about coaching and said “this will be the first time, in many years that I won’t feel like I’ve wasted another year of my life. When this year comes to a close I will be left with a feeling of hope and pride for my accomplishments. Wow!!” A powerful affirmation for the process.
This brings us to the last step of Celebrate results. This is in my opinion, the most important and for many people (certainly me) a difficult one. Celebrate results along the way, as well as the final outcome. Celebrate yourself today. Ask yourself: “what do I acknowledge myself for today? What small or large step have I taken? What do I forgive myself for today? How am I honoring my values today?
Celebrate and acknowledge yourself for what you are accomplishing by taking a quiet stroll, planning a trip, meditating, enjoying a bubble bath, buying a new fishing rod, or some other special pleasure. Make a difference from the inside out and you will feel supported and empowered in a new and valuable way.
The 5 Steps supporting the Power of Intention create a framework to help manifest your hopes and dreams. I love the Goethe couplet that states “Whatever you can do, or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power and magic in it.” I support you and your vision. If I can be of assistance I am an e mail or phone call away.
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COACH'S CORNER: AND, THE NEXT CHAPTER IS...
by Marge Douville Fajardo, CPCC
Each January we get another chance to begin anew. For some reason, the new calendar year seems to create a pause in the continuum of time. It provides an opportunity to stop the usual activity, to reflect and to ask, “What new will I create in my life?” “How do I want my life to be different this year?” “What will I title the next chapter in my personal book of life?”
What will the year 2002 bring for you? For all of us it will be a mix of circumstances and choices. We will all have events that occur in our lives, some by chance and others by choice. But ultimately, it is the choices we make in respect to the circumstances that will write the next chapter of our lives.
We are each given material from which to craft a life. It is our unique experiences that flavor our choices, and it is our choices that create the ultimate result. Some people focus more on circumstances. They are called victims. Some people focus more on choices. They are called self-leaders and creators of their own destiny. W. E. Henley has said, “I am the master of my fate: I am the captain of my soul.” In order to make the most of this year, step up to the captain’s chair to write the chapter you want to have written.
Becoming the master of your fate, first of all, requires time for self-reflection. Early in January, give yourself a break from daily activities and find a calm and nurturing place where you won’t be interrupted. For some people self-reflection is aided by meditation, walking or writing. Whatever works for you, note that self-reflection is the key to self-discovery. It provides you with an opportunity to get in touch with what is really important to you so that it is easier to author your next chapter.
There will be a next chapter whether you write it or the circumstances of life write it. To become a creator of your own destiny, consider having a dialogue with yourself about your desires, values and gifts before you get into action to create the reality.
Step 1. Find your Desires/Passions. Notice what fuels you as well as what drains you. Sometimes we confuse obligations with desires. The big difference is in the flow of energy. Obligations drain energy and desires provide energy. Ask yourself, “What is it about my life that I want to change/create? What do I really want out of life? What gives me energy? What makes me come alive?” Perhaps you will discover a passion for creating beauty, making the world a safer place, inventing products to improve the quality of life, revolutionizing your industry, developing a new process or creating deeper connections with people.
Step 2. Identify your Values. What is it that is important to you? Identify what you must have in life (beyond food, shelter and clothing) and you will find a value. Look at a time when you were upset or angry. Turn these feelings over and underneath you will find a value that is being suppressed. It is important to do this on a regular basis because values are static. As life situations change, values change. When your children are little, your values will be different than when you are an empty nester---- Ask yourself, “What is most important to me at this point in my life?”
Step 3. Recognize your Gifts. Sometimes your gifts, natural talents and abilities, are hard for you to recognize because they seem second nature to you. Perhaps you take them for granted and assume that everyone has these abilities. Ask friends what you do well and what they have observed you enjoying the most.
Step 4. Get into Action. To be the author of your reality, there has to be a reason to move from the comfort of being where you are to creating something new. The magic to overcome inertia will occur when you tap into your desires and reinforce them with your values and gifts. Once you are clear about them, you are ready to create a process to make your desires become your new reality. To get started right away, select three specific actions to take to create your new chapter.
Know that whenever you start something new, there will be doubts and there will be roadblocks to your success. The strength of your commitment to authoring your own book will determine how you face those challenges. Today, I challenge you to title your new chapter for 2003. I challenge you to claim the captain’s chair of your life. “I am the master of my fate: I am the captain of my soul.”
Used with permission.
Marge Douville Fajardo, CPCC, President of KEY RESULTS, 303-439-0495 or mfajardo@keyresults.net
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COACH'S CORNER: WHAT DIFFERENCE CAN A COACH MAKE: INTRODUCING WIIFM —“WHAT'S IN IT FOR ME?
Personal and Business Coaches celebrate International Coach Week, the first week in February, to spotlight the profession and the contribution being made by personal coaching. The concept of a Personal Coach /Career Coach /Life Coach is a new phenomenon! Most people still think about a sports coach when they hear “my coach said...”.
The field of Personal Coaching is exploding, with “as many as 25,000 people in the U.S. now calling themselves life or work coaches—twice as many as in 1999” ( Wall Street Journal, November 5, 2002). According to the article many coaches specialize in niche areas which can be very creative, such as coaching farmers, golfers, smokers, a “geek whisperer” who advises engineers, and a dolphins coach, “who helps humans mimic the energy” of dolphins.
Why are people hiring Coaches of many kinds? The acronym “radio station WIIFM” (What’s in it for ME) addresses this question because coaching helps people live life more fully and consciously, and achieve results more quickly and easily than they could accomplish them on their own.
What coaching—that is having a Coach, does is to help clarify personal and professional goals based on personal values. One client commented “coaching has brought balance back into my life, ...and brought FUN back into my life”. Another said it strengthened her decision making and self esteem, and being accountable to her Coach got her moving. Still another said “Coaching....allowed me to better see my own self, and my commitment to transformation.” Clients feel seen, heard, and supported in a way that doesn’t normally happen in everyday conversations.
Have you experienced how great it feels to have someone say “I can see you doing that! I believe in you!”? That is the role of a Personal or Career Coach. Holding the banner high and keeping the vision alive while you work toward your goal. My Coach held the banner for me while I relocated to Tucson, settled in, started from scratch, and developed my business. It makes a difference!
International Coaching Week is a great reason to highlight the benefits of coaching and acknowledge that Coaches are facilitating transformational change worldwide. I am proud to be a professional Coach making a difference in the world!
Are you curious enough to tune in to WIIFM and examine “What’s in it for Me?”
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COACH'S CORNER: MAKE FRIENDS WITH FEAR OR WHO'S AFRAID OF SUCCESS...
Are you up to something BIG in your life? Are you excited and terrified depending on the day, hour or minute? Do you start a new project or direction and then sabotage yourself? Are you afraid of success?
The theme running through several Career Moves articles is the “power of intention”. We have talked about linking your desired outcome to your life values and committing to your intentions on an emotional level.
But what if you are up to something BIG and you get scared? Welcome to the club! Starting school, leaving a relationship, changing careers, for example, all mean change. Change can bring up fear...fear of failure, and odd as it may seem....fear of success.
Fear of Success? What a strange concept to realize that you may not know how to handle things if your dream comes true. What would life be like for example if your ideal mate came to your door? Can you see yourself happy and fulfilled or would you sabotage the relationship because at some level you can’t believe you deserve to be “really” happy?
“The fear of success is a very unique issue that arises when you are genuinely creating change and moving forward in your life,” according to Ti Caine, a hypnotherapist and life coach from Sherman Oaks, California. “The fear of success is very real, because the future is real—we’re all heading there—and what we imagine for our future has an enormous influence on us.”
Dealing with fear of success is not an easy issue because the fear is rooted in a future we don’t know how to work on. “ our culture is focused on fixing the past. It’s as if we are driving through life staring into the rear-view mirror” says Caine.
A powerful technique for creating a future vision is an exercise visualizing your Future Self that I use with clients in the course of coaching. By visualizing your Future Self and getting a sense of how you will be in the future you take a huge step in breaking old patterns. Once this Future Self is available, clients often ask their inner wisdom, Future Self, for answers to decisions facing them.
“All fears of success would go away if you totally took your power back,” says Caine. “In fact, our very deepest fear is that when we really reclaim our power and succeed, we have to face the realization that we had the power to change all along and could have changed five or ten years ago.”
Taking back your power by identifying your choices and deciding to change means risking failure and success. It also means forgiving yourself for not changing sooner.
“Self-forgiveness doesn’t come from the outside but from the inside,” says Caine. “If you don’t know how to forgive yourself, then you can’t create empowered success.”
Hara Estroff Marano, Editor-At-Large of Psychology Today magazine lists these questions as fundamental to understanding and breaking through to successful change.
- What do I hope to get out of pretending to be powerless?
- What do I get to avoid?
- Who do I get to punish or love?
- What emotion am I not willing to release? (For many it is anger)
- What guarantee am I holding out for?
- Am I manipulating with self-pity?
- Am I feeling better than or less then?
- What am I afraid of losing if I succeed?
“Once you identify your fears and understand why you held onto them, then you can forgive yourself. You can release your fears by visualizing them coming true in the future, then creatively destroying this image in your imagination. Or you can write out your fears and destroy the paper”, states Marano.
Accessing your Future Self for wisdom and advise is another way to creatively move through change. Vision a successful future in your imagination—and bring that future vision into your life NOW by incorporating as many elements as possible into the present moment. This allows you to make a strong emotional link with your intentions and puts you on the path to a successful life.
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EVERYDAY MATTERS: MENTAL HOUSECLEANING: INVENTORYING AVAILABLE ENERGY
April 2003
Coach’s Corner: Springtime creates an urge in many people to clean their space; perhaps home or office. The following article gives a unique look at doing a seasonal Mental Housecleaning. A professional colleague, Pat Marum, has given permission to use her excellent article, so please enjoy.
What kind of energy level do you have these days? When we consider the energy we have available to do the tasks at hand, it often seems that the list of things we feel we need to accomplish is much greater than energy available.
Energy is interesting. For things that we enjoy, there is usually plenty of energy. For things that we dislike or feel inadequate to accomplish, we seem to have less energy. And there will always be some such tasks. In actuality` there is an equal amount of energy available for all tasks - but when we resist doing something we siphon off our own energy. Why? We ‘pre-load’ those tasks with emotional content. Depending on the meaning we attach to a thing, there is either a free access to energy or a curtailment of our access to it.
So. If we want more energy, we need to be clear about the meaning, good, bad, or neutral, that we assign to things. To do that, we can make three lists:
(1) What Feeds My Energy? What gives me back equally or even more than I seem to put into it).
(2) What Drains My Energy (that is, what seems to wear me out from doing it even if I do it for just a short period of time).
(3) This one has two columns: What Do I Avoid? Why?
Carry these lists around for a few days and jot down on the appropriate list, tasks and responsibilities as they occur to you. It should be very interesting to watch these lists develop. The items on the Feeds My Energy list are items for which you have no resistance- energy is readily available and may even be renewed by this activity.
The items on the Drains My Energy list usually are full of 'the shoulds' – these things use up more energy than they give.
The items on the Avoid list are areas where we likely feel ‘not up to the task at hand’ – we may actually be using more energy than the actual task requires to hide from the possibility of failure.
The trick is to discover the meanings we attach to our activities. When we see the meaning that we give an item, we can make an assessment about the correctness of that judgment. We can ask of our thoughts: Is this thought still the truth? Does this thought serve me now? What is the real truth of this item for me today? If I truly need to keep doing this task, do I need to rethink my reasons for doing this?
When we have done that, we can take another look at those lists. With fresher thoughts about how we spend our time, would any of the items now change locations to another list or fall off altogether? When it comes to the Avoid items, can any be moved to the Feeds list (meaning, at least they no longer drain energy)? With regard to the Drains list, how can we responsibly minimize our time doing those things? With regard to the Feeds list, how can we increase our exposure to those things? What else might feed our energy?
It can be very productive to repeat this exercise periodically: seasonal mental housecleaning.
Pat Marum, www.balanceandpurpose.com Pat coaches individuals, couples, and groups who are facing FORWARD and interested in stretching their horizons and co-creating possibilities that become fulfilling realities.
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COACH'S CORNER: BETTER DECISIONS— YOUR WAY: HOW TO CREATIVELY GET MOVING
June 2003
What decision are you putting off? How is indecision affecting your LIFE VISION? What values are not being honored because of indecision?
A recent eZine article by a colleague about the power of making a decision got me thinking about how we make decisions and why. She talks about how she was doing “hopeful writing” that was accomplishing nothing, and how she finally chose to set a deadline date and work her life around that goal. It worked, and she accomplished her writing project goal, not on the deadline date but a week later (Kendall’s Weekly Marketing Wisdom, www.kendallsummerhawk.com, May 5, 2003).
There are several decision making styles and stages of decidedness (is that a word?) So, different people “decide” differently and at different rates. So what? What does it mean to you when making a decision? You might say “I don’t have problems making decisions, I just do it”. With this style a person may decide too quickly and later wish she had gotten other options. Someone else might say “I can’t make up my mind and making decisions really frustrates me. What should I do?” This dependent style of decision making can paralyze progress. Problems with decision and action can cheat your life and vision.
The key question is (and Dr. Phil would agree), “is it working for you?” Is your decision style helping you honor your values and accomplish your vision? If not; how do you get past blocks, make a decision and get into action? Right now, coming up on mid year, is a great time to look at your life areas; decisions you are putting off, and actions you are not taking, and get going on them.
So, how do you get past indecision and get into action? Understanding your decision style can help. When you know your primary style, you can “help” yourself past blocks by being creative and also using elements from other styles. A research article by Harren (1984) identified four decision styles: Rational; deliberate and logical, Intuitive; using present feeling and intuition, Dependent; base decisions on pleasing others, and Combination; intuitive and dependent used together. Based on these types, what decision style rings true for you? Do you:
_____ Gather facts, more facts, and use logic only
_____ Go with the gut and what feels right
_____ Rely on heavy input (approval) from outside sources
_____ Combine outside sources and personal intuition
The opening example about setting a deadline and doing what was needed to make it happen is one way. Another way that worked for me this past month was to get a new perspective on a decision that I wanted to make. I had been procrastinating about redecorating my office because I couldn’t decide on a paint color for the walls.
During a coaching conversation about decorating my office, Pat Marum, Life Coach, asked me, “Sally, what other starting point could you consider?” This question (Yes, Coaches need a Coach, too) sent me looking in a new direction and gave me a different perspective. I replied “well, I could pick the draperies first and find fabric that makes me happy!”
Wow! Within a week I had made time to shop for and order drapes. Next, it made sense to paint the walls before hanging the drapes. I chose the paint color the next week (now it spoke to me) and painted the room. The drapes will be hung soon, and I am already benefiting from the cheerful green that greets me when I walk into the room. This decision stuff really works!
What new perspective can you create or deadline will you set? Be creative: break through procrastination, make a decision, get into action. Consider the role a Coach can play to support YOUR FABULOUS LIFE VISION!
Now it’s your turn. When you honor your values by the decisions you make and act upon, you FEEL MORE ALIVE, MORE COMPLETE, and.....HAPPIER!
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COACH'S CORNER: CREATING YOUR BLUEPRINT FOR SUCCESS
by Joanne Victoria
Having a strong foundation enables you to build a thriving, profitable life and business. A simple method to create this foundation is with Direction, Vision, Pathways and Benchmarking, the four cornerstones of your life as well as your business.
Direction is defined as examining where are you now and where are you going. It helps to look at everything as if you were a beginner. Always know why you are in the business of your choice. If your strategy is not clear, you won't recognize the destination when you get there. This is the time to bring in your outside Vision Team.
Vision is who you are about and what your life is about. This is where you determine values you need to experience on a continuing basis. Vision is also where you become the expert in your field and decide the purpose of your business. Remember, the smaller the niche, the larger the reward. Abandon any preconceived beliefs you have about this or any other business. They can restrict your thinking. Live out of this new vision, not your past comfort.
Pathways create the process that helps you arrive at your destination. A simple system is to - Show Up, Be on Time, Keep Your Word and Tell The Truth. It's like riding on that train, sometimes there are hills to climb; sometimes there are curves and other times you're flying rapidly down the mountain to your destination. In any instance, you must remain focused on what you want and where you are going.
Benchmarking helps you stay on track without comparisons.
This is where you can create goals or optimum wants that may be on the outer edge of possibilities or a goal that is far bigger than you think is attainable. Going into new territory can unlock your potential and increase your development. When goals or optimum results are achieved, you can acknowledge success and learn to be satisfied. Again, put it in writing; the goals, the results and the acknowledgement.
Rules require exceptions, so even if you follow the above And create a strong foundation, you must be prepared for chaos. Chaos can aid in your personal and business development if you have eliminated all toxic people or commitments from your life.
Chaos can then become the opportunity to progress rapidly into new territory. You can be the architect of your own life.
Build a strong foundation and you can always remodel.
Bio: Joanne Victoria works with entrepreneurs and independent professionals who want to simplify their lives in order to create more business, more money and more time.
E-mail: joanne@joannevictoria.com
Website: http://www.JoanneVictoria.com
© Copyright 2003 Joanne Victoria Permission granted to reproduce this article, providing you use the article in its entirety, including the brief bio trailer, all links and references within.
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COACH'S CORNER: CREATIVE SPACE: COMING FROM NOTHINGNESS
Sept 2003
What is your innermost fragile dream or longing? As a coach it is my privilege to hear people express—give voice, to their precious hopes and dreams. That THING that is too wonderful to dare to imagine, much less believe it can happen.
But here they are, shyly telling me: like one client, a woman, who wants to return to school and is terrified. Another example is a professional turned homemaker who now has the dream of stepping into new territory and finding her unique voice in order to make a difference in the world.
Just two examples of many. What do they all have in common? They are examples of the creative process blossoming—that inner “voice”, which won’t go away; demanding to be heard or expressed.
Artists know this voice well. It makes itself “heard” on canvas, in words, in form, and through music, among others. We can learn from artists and their creative process, how to better and more easily make our dreams reality. They have a way of sensing or seeing the completed product before the brush touches canvas, or the pen begins to write.
You may have used the creative process already without knowing it. We can all use it to create our life if we learn to tap this process for ourselves. Robert Fritz writes in The Path of Least Resistance that “once the vision is clear, processes organically form that lead to the accomplishment of that vision. This means that, in the creative orientation, process is invented along the way.”
The creative orientation is based around being clear and knowing you have the power of choice. It is based in the present, not reacting or responding to the past. When you are in the NOW, in the present, it is like clearing the mind and coming into and from NOTHINGNESS. This is powerful because it opens the field to unlimited possibilities
When you are in that CREATIVE SPACE of nothingness, open to new possibilities, you are better able to create. The woman wanting to return to school had new options when she saw more than her fear. The homemaker begins to see what her next step might be. When you see yourself having choices your life becomes richer and new avenues open to you.
The creative process becomes more effective when we learn to make choices and clarify the vison we have and the result we want, and then objectively look at where we are right now. With this information a tension is created which motivates us toward taking an action step. Next month we will continue exploring this CREATIVE SPACE and refer to Robert Fritz’s ideas on structural tension related to this process.
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LIBRARY CORNER: THE PATH OF LEAST RESISTANCE
by Robert Fritz
“.....Most of us long to create something in our lives. It may not be a painting, a novel, or a musical composition, the products we usually associate with “creativity”. It may be a beautiful, functional kitchen, a computer program, or good health. Yet achieving these end results requires the same skills that the painter, or musician would use in completing their masterpieces. The Path of Least Resistance is Robert Fritz’s revolutionary program for creating anything, based not on pop psychology, but on the tradition of the arts and sciences.”
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COACH'S CORNER: CREATIVE SPACE: COMING FROM NOTHINGNESS, PART II
Oct. Nov 2003
What is creativity to you? What comes to mind? Some adjectives used to describe it might be: inspiration, source, joyful, ideas, risk, flexibility, fun, right brain, and energy.
The September article, Creative Space: Coming From Nothingness explored the creative process. It discussed the importance of “getting clear” and knowing that you have the power of choice. The premise is that we affect outcomes in our life by taking an active part in the creative process.
Author Robert Fritz explains in The Path of Least Resistance that we are always reacting-responding or creating. Reacting is re-acting or reenacting a familiar scene. Creating is based in the present, being in the NOW. It is a process of clearing the mind and “coming into and from nothingness”.
The Movie Indiana Jones: The Last Crusade, with Harrison Ford and Sean Connery provides a wonderful illustration of this process. As the action builds, Indiana Jones (Ford) must decipher cryptic clues and move through deadly obstacles to find the Holy Grail in order to use its’ healing power to save his father (Connery) who has been shot by the villain in the movie. The final challenge facing Indiana is to cross a bottomless crevasse and enter the chamber on the other side.
Facing the crevasse, Indiana Jones repeats the clue “Only in a leap from the lion’s head will he prove his worth”. His father (Connery) murmurs “You must believe” at the same time Indiana says to himself “it’s a leap of faith”. His vision and decision are so clear that he believes the way will show itself. He is totally committed to crossing the crevasse, retrieving the Grail and saving his father’s life.
Totally in the NOW, he steps out in faith into space. The bridge, which was invisible, appears to support him. He is mystified but moves across, finds the Grail, and is able to give his father a drink of life saving water from the Grail.
This adventure sequence illustrates the creative process called the Pivot Technique provided by Fritz in his book. “The pivotal technique in the creative orientation may help you use unwanted circumstances as a catalyst to help propel you toward where you want to be. The technique is quite simple, yet profoundly powerful.”
The Pivot Technique
1. Describe where you are now
Describe the current reality without analysis or judgment (I am working
very hard).
2. Clarify your vision—the desired result
Spell out the result you want to create. Be very clear and get in touch with what you truly want. (I want to get away from it all)
3. Choose again the result you want
“I choose ...........” adding the result you want. (I choose to have a relaxing easy
vacation).
4. Move on
Shift your focus, do something different. Change the focus of your conscious
attention from being in an unwanted situation (I’ll talk to my travel agent).
Once you have observed where you are (current reality) and where you want to be (vision) and have formally chosen the result you want to create (reestablished structural tension), and moved on; synchronicity happens.
Structural tension is the gap between where you are and where you want to be. By clearly establishing this tension, you allow the creative process to happen. You will want to make note of how plans, events, and outcomes come together with ease and how much you feel in the flow of life.
Be clear about the current reality.
State your desired outcome.
Formally CHOOSE your vision.
Relax, let the creative process unfold.
What are you waiting to create? Indiana Jones was very clear about the current reality. He chose his vision, moved forward in faith and was shown the bridge across the crevasse. Try the creative orientation for yourself and experience Creative Space!
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LIBRARY CORNER: CREATING
by Robert Fritz
“By nature and instinct, people are creators. Yet while we all wish to give birth to our ideas and aspirations, we do not always have the means to make these desires live in reality. Because we have not been trained to create...... Robert Fritz......makes the creative process accessible to anyone. Creating is Robert Fritz’s revolutionary program for creating anything—a work of art, a relationship, a career or a better life.”
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CAREER CORNER: OUT OF INERTIA
In a recent Career Moves Class a participant echoed a sentiment I hear many times over. “I got this job because my parents said I should be practical and get some good (you fill the blank) skills. Well I did and have been in this field, and here I am 15 years later and still miserable. I don’t know what else to do?” Another common theme I hear is “I have some ideas and I would love to make a shift but I don’t know anything about the industry or how to make the jump.”
What I hope to accomplish with this newsletter and this column is to give my clients, students, friends and interested readers ideas and strategies to help move them into a place of life and career satisfaction and fulfillment. The phrase “Knowledge is Power” takes on a different meaning when applied to knowing your goals, values, life purpose, what excites and motivates you. What does a fulfilling life look like to you? What values must be honored for you to feel satisfied at work and at home? What excites you and makes you come alive? When you know yourself you can then begin to access information and use it to become stronger in decision making. Your decisions, small and large are what enable you to move away from or toward a more balanced life. Take the first steps out of inertia: set a goal, stay with the process, and ask for support and help along the way. That is how you get from here to there.
The steps in the process look something like this:
1. Get to know yourself
2. Learn about the world of work (what are your options)
3. Define and refine how you make decisions
4. Be mindful of your “self talk”
5. Set goals and review them daily
6. Take action
7. Assess and return to number one
Where are you in this process? Where do you want to be? What are you saying YES to in your life and because of that, what are you saying NO to in your life. Goethe’s couplets ring true any time of year and perhaps especially at the beginning when we tend to make a new start, “Whatever you can do, or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power and magic in it.” I invite you on a journey of self discovery and life purpose fulfillment.
Next issue we will step into the process and begin exploring your career and life journey.
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CAREER CORNER: PACKING VALUES WITH YOUR LUNCH: THREE SECRETS TO A MORE FULLFILLING WORK EXPERIENCE
Have you ever taken a “sick day” to maintain your mental health at work, and then felt you had to make up an illness? Do you have a sense that things are out of balance or just not right in your work environment? Have you wished you had some way to feel more in harmony and balance with yourself in your work situation?
We come into conflict with our environment at work, at home, and in social situations when it conflicts with our core set of values. Being aware of, and living in tune with our values brings a sense of peace and rightness to our life. One of the first tasks in beginning a coaching relationship is to establish a Top 10 Values list. This forms an important component of the coaching work and beyond.
During a recent coaching appointment a woman told how she took a mental health day from work and now had to decide what “illness” she would tell about when she went back. The culture in the office was to “work sick” and come in to work inspite of how you were feeling. It was not “okay” to take care of yourself.
This woman was surprised to realize, during our coaching, that by taking a mental health day she was honoring her value of self care and health and she didn’t have any apologies to make. She learned that she could hold a new standard for herself, and not take on guilt about going counter to the work culture. She felt in harmony, and acknowledged herself for better handling a stressful work environment by taking the day.
What are the THREE SECRETS to a more fulfilling work experience?
1. Create a “Top 10” values list
2. Take your Values to work
3. Make Value based decisions
The following questions can help you establish a core list of values to hold in your life. These values are the touchstone against which you judge your decisions and reactions.
VALUES EXERCISE
If you were going on a dangerous, exciting unknown journey and all you could take with you were your most cherished values to see you through; what values would you take?
Some examples of values are: spirituality, adventure, abundance, security, connection/bonding, beauty, helping people, recognition, being appreciated, honesty, integrity, risk taking, stability, and many more.
Take the time to create your Top 10 Values list and carry it with you. Ask yourself these questions about each value. How fully am I honoring this value in my life? What do I need to do to honor this value? What will life be like when I am fully honoring my values?
When you Pack Your Values in Your Lunch Box, you create a strong decision making touchstone to use and rely upon. Your sense of calm within yourself will increase. Whether you stay in a situation or decide to leave will be more clear, and the decision will be based on identified values and will feel right.
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CAREER CORNER: "WHAT'S AN INFORMATIONAL INTERVIEW?"
Sept 2002
I am often asked how a person can find out about a career path or job move they are wanting to consider. When you have an objective in mind you have several avenues available to gather information and help you make a decision. First I recommend that you research the career area using the library or internet to gather information. Two internet sites to visit are www.bls.gov/occ/ for the Occupational Outlook Handbook, and www.salary.com for a salary survey that can be specific to your vocation and geographic area. Next, find people who are doing the work you think you want to do and arrange to talk with them.
The first thing that most clients say is something like “I don’t know anyone who is doing that work”. Guess what? Someone does! Your job is to get really curious and begin asking your circle of friends, family and acquaintances if they know someone who knows someone (notice the phrasing on that question) who does that work. There is a theory around six degrees of separation that says we are only six contacts away from anyone in the world we want to contact. Using this idea and putting out the inquiry, you will find one or more people to talk with.
The 5 step process looks like this:
1. Call to explain your purpose and set an appointment for 20 to 30 minutes.
2. Prepare your questions based on your research and what characteristics of the job you are trying to determine.
3. Hold to the agreed time (the interviewee may be open to continue, but that is up to her/him).
4. Send a thank you note.
5. If agreed upon, keep the interviewee informed of your progress and follow through on any suggestions. A critical rule is: Do not ask for an interview or a job during this information interview.
The phone book, yellow pages is also a great place to find people to talk with. If the first two or three are not open to talking with you the next one probably will be. Remember, people love to talk about what they do and why they do it. If you are sincerely asking for information and interested in what they have to say, it is a good bet that you will find more than one person ready to take time with you and share what they know.
When you call to set up an interview it is a good idea to already have your questions handy. Sometimes a person is willing to talk right then, so you want to be professional and BE PREPARED
Happy Informational Interviewing. Let me hear from you on your experiences with this technique.
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CAREER CORNER: HOW TO MINE YOUR SKILS AND POLISH YOUR SKILL DIAMOND
January 2003
If I asked you what your 3 top Power Skills are, what would you say? Do you know? Can you relate concise stories illustrating your skills? In fact when was the last time you took a close look at your skills?
The phrase “Knowledge is Power” takes on a whole new meaning when it defines your knowledge of you...your values, skills, abilities and preferences in relation to career and life. Do you find yourself in one of these situations: looking for work; wanting to be more effective in your current job; or researching a change of job or career?
If so, you will probably experience times where you need to express what you have done and more importantly, what you can do for an employer. This ability to express bottom line value is critical for your effective presentation and for your present or prospective employer to perceive how you can solve his/her problem(s).
When you are clear on your top skills and how you use them best, you have two advantages. 1. You can vividly relate your experience so you are memorable to the employer, and 2. You will more easily assess whether a potential job is a good fit before saying yes to a position.
So how do you MINE YOUR SKILLS? The answer is as close as your nose, and this may be why we often struggle so much to define our best skills. We will begin the discovery in this article and continue it next issue.
MINING YOUR “SKILLS DIAMOND” EXERCISE:
If possible find a supportive nonjudgmental partner for this exercise. The purpose is to begin to “mine the diamond” by clarifying your natural skills that you most enjoy using.
1. Write down at least three (or more) ACCOMPLISHMENTS you have achieved. This can be from any time in your life, and can be a big or small event. An accomplishment is something that you did well, enjoyed doing and felt proud or good about when you finished.
2. Tell your partner the story of an accomplishment in detail. Include what you achieved, what you enjoyed about it, how you felt while doing it, and why it was special for you.
3. Have your partner reflect back to you what strengths and skills he/she hears being used in this situation.
4. Take notes and be open to your partner’s observations regarding each accomplishment.
OR
If doing this by yourself, write down the accomplishment and write out the story following the guidelines. Then, looking at it objectively, pull out the strengths and skills you see reflected in the story.
5. Make a list of the strengths and skills you find.
Great job! You should now have a good list of strengths and skills you naturally enjoy and are good at doing. Next month we will continue to mine your Skills Diamond and begin to polish it.
To Be Continued...........
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CAREER CORNER: HOW TO MINE YOUR SKILS AND POLISH YOUR SKILL DIAMOND (continued)
February 2003
Are you looking for work? Wanting a promotion? Researching a new career or job? If you are contemplating any of these changes, read on!
Last month, we began “mining your skills” by recalling achievements in your life, telling the story of each achievement and then pulling skills from the account. This month we are polishing the diamond by getting clear on the skills you have and use in your job, life, and professional presentation.
Based on the “Mining Your Diamond Skills” exercise you have a list of skills that relate to activities and accomplishments that make you smile when you think of them. Remember the question last month “what are your three POWER SKILLS? Let’s find out....what three skills really make you light up when you talk about activities involving them? For me I think it is listening, creating safe space, and communicating. Yours will be different and unique to you. These are your POWER SKILLS and form the base of your SKILLS DIAMOND. Do you know what they are? Great work!
The next step is to take your skills list, add to it and clarify the facets of the diamond which include:
1. Self Management Skills
These are first impression kinds of things: being on time, professional appearance, being organized, etc.
2. Adaptive Skills
These are personality preference related skills: great team member, attention to detail,
work well independently, adaptable, learn quickly, etc.
3. Job Skills
Specific to your industry or occupation: computer programs, training, i.e. accounting,
4. Transferable Skills
Skills that transcend job titles: analyzing, negotiating, planning, editing, computer skill, etc.
5. POWER SKILLS
Those select skills that make life and job a joy when they are put to use.
Make this exercise easy and fun. Put the above list where you can see it and add to it as you go through your day and identify the skills you have and use. When it feels complete, you will have your SKILLS DIAMOND sparkling.
Congratulations!
Next month we will polish it even more by developing SAR scenarios for the interview to dazzle your prospective employer.
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CAREER CORNER: SUCCESSFUL INTERVIEWS USING SAR
March 2003
More people are finding themselves out of work and facing the prospect of job interviewing. The articles on Mining Your Skill Diamond focused on getting clear about what you have to offer the prospective employer and where your “power skills” lay.
The question is how do you present your skills during an interview in a truly effective manner? The answer has to do with stories. Yes, stories you develop and practice before any interview takes place.
Part of an effective interview is allowing the interviewer to see how you handled situations that have arisen in the past. This helps create a mental bridge to how you can help solve the employer’s current problems. S/he is looking for solutions to her/his problems, and you want to be the one s/he chooses (if this company is the right one for you, that is. Interviewing is a two way street).
In preparing for developing stories think about people in your life. Think back on bosses, co-workers, friends, employees, etc. and begin to remember past experiences is the advise of Cheryl A. Cage, a career consultant in Tucson, AZ. She suggests considering these areas to develop relevant stories: technical knowledge, attitude, communication, team orientation, and adaptability. Write down ideas and memories that come to you related to these areas.
Next, begin to develop effective stories that can be told in a short time span, say 2 minutes tops. Use the image of an inverted triangle to help formulate your narrative. Think SITUATION—ACTION—RESULT; with SITUATION being on top of the triangle, ACTION in the middle more narrow part, and RESULT in the bottom or point of the triangle.
SITUATION statement should state the pertinent facts in a compact manner. Place, time, and experience level. Frame the problem.
ACTION statement briefly, and succinctly tells what you did to solve the problem or what action you took.
RESULT statement completes the story with how you solved the problem or did all you could to resolve it.
Specific, concise, to the point, and clear are all words to keep in mind as you critique your preparation and practice of interview questions and your stories. Cage suggests using visualization when telling a story. “Place yourself back in the situation; see yourself working through the problem. By visualizing the situation you will find it easier to offer the information in an organized manner.”
Practice, practice, practice. Use a mirror or friend to verbalize your stories. You want to be able to pull on them in the course of an interview. Nerves can get in the way, so preparation is your key to a dynamite interview.
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CAREER CORNER: DON'T BUMBLE YOUR BRANDING!
April 2003
Since when, as an employee, do you need a career brand? Well … since the job market has became tighter and pink-slips are as common as confetti, that’s when! What are the benefits to having a good, strong brand? A brand will …
* Bring you new opportunities faster
* Make others aware of your expertise
* Guide you in your career decisions about what training to pursue and what opportunities to accept
* Create in the employer’s mind a compulsion to buy (hire) you
* Differentiate you from your competition
* Elevate you from the status of a commodity (in commodities, lowest price
wins)
In career marketing, a brand can be defined as: A cohesive image that positions you as a trusted expert, attracts your ideal employer/client, and conveys the value of investing in your talents/services.
Here are 7 simple “A’s” to creating a clear and compelling brand.
1. Authentic Image: Your brand should be founded on authenticity. It should be about who you are, what your work-life purpose is, and what you are committed to causing. As a starting point to develop your brand, brainstorm a list of all the things you are good at. As examples, here are some ideas for brands: conflict management, sales training, best-practice systems, marketing for service professionals, customer service, etc.
2. Ardor: (Okay, so ardor isn’t all that common a word, but it fits with this list of “A’s”). Ardor is another word for passion. Using the brainstormed list from step 1 above, circle those items you are most passionate about. For starters, identify the #1 item (ultimately, your brand can be a 3-point brand, provided each of the points complements the others). If you’re having difficulty narrowing it down, pretend you are packing your suitcase for an important business trip. If you had room to take just one item (brand) with you in that suitcase, what would it be?
3. Advantages: Once you’ve identified the top pick from item #1, identify what the advantages are to that item. For instance, if you are great at conflict management, the advantages to recipients (employers) of your brand might be greater cooperation among team members which leads to enhanced productivity, new ideas, less employee turnover, etc. List at least 3 distinct advantages for your brand.
4. Analysis: Next, do some analysis to determine what the market conditions are for your emerging brand. Is there a need for what you offer? Are companies hiring in that area? Are there a zillion competitors for what you want to do? If the answers to these questions are negative, go back to step 2 and select a new item.
5. Approach: Once you’ve determined your passionate competency and the market demand, you can begin to determine the best approach for positioning your brand. Think unique positioning. Be a St. (pronounced “Saint”), as in the beST, firST, or moST. Are you the best at creating product marketing strategies, are you the first one to have mastered how to conduct electronic meetings for your work team, and are you the most accomplished, award-winning sales professional in your company/industry?
6. Articulate: Once you’ve assembled your brand, you must be able to articulate it to others. Networking opportunities, both internal and external, abound. Be ready with a sound bite that describes your unique brand. Such as “the career cartographer—I am able to help others chart the right course that will make smooth sailing in their work lives” or “the change commando—drawing from a decorated military career, I am able to bring about change that delivers off-the-chart results.”
7. Awareness: Alan Weiss, internationally known consultant and author, states that a brand is “an awareness factor.” Above all, look for opportunities to make the right people aware of your brand. Get on the radar screen. The best brand in the world is useless unless people are aware of it. Initiate an orchestrated campaign to “brandish” your brand. You can do this by writing articles, speaking at association meetings, requesting to work on high-profile projects, serving on projects where you’ll be seen by a number of people (i.e., handing out nametags at a trade show meeting), cc-ing your boss’s boss on significant emails/memos, suggesting time-saving/money-saving ideas to your immediate employer, etc.
Throughout this 7-step process, remember to look for opportunities to deliver your brand. In doing so, you’ll bring value, benefits, and advantages to those you serve.
Article by Susan Whitcomb, The Career Coaches Coach
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CAREER CORNER: LIONS OR GNATS — WHICH STOPS YOU FROM GETTING THINGS GOING?
July/August 2003
Career Corner: Lions or Gnats—Which Stops You From Getting Things Going?
What gets in your way of tending to important tasks and building momentum?
Whether your task is an important “lion” or an insignificant “gnat,” NOT dealing with it can threaten your wants, desires, hopes, and aspirations.
You all know what the “lions” are in your career life—they are the important projects that, when accomplished, will help you feel like a “king” and in control of your own domain. Lions may take the form of staying in touch with critical networking contacts to carving out that time needed to train your successor (so that you can go on to bigger and better things!).
What are “gnats?” They are the pesky irritations that land on our desk, our calendar, and our lives! They drain us of physical and emotional energy and tax our reserves. Your gnat may be something like a disorganized work space, a long-overdue computer backup, the project that you really should have said “no” to, or the daily onslaught of email that needs read and responded to.
Whether you’re dealing with lions or gnats, you can tackle them and build momentum by applying one of these 5 D’s:
- Do – As Nike advises, Just do it! Schedule that “lion” on your calendar, then jump in and get it done. For instance, “On Friday, I will get together with Don and Donna from ABC Inc. to catch up on where their company is headed.”
- Delegate – Surround yourself with support. Ask for the resources you need. If your boss says, “we can’t do that—it’s not in the budget,” get creative! Your gnat my be someone else’s delight--consider trading projects, bringing on an intern, or even hiring an errand runner out of your own pocket so that you’re freed up to do the more important stuff!
- Dump – Is there someone in your life who sucks the lifeblood from you? If so, no longer give that person permission to enter your emotional space. Spend time with “bone-marrow” friends—the ones who feed your soul. Or, is there a seemingly “good” activity in your career that you really should be saying no to? Perhaps you’ve volunteered for an association that isn’t the best use of your time. If so, set a date for when you would like to end that commitment, then begin to graciously extricate yourself!
- Distance – Put some physical space between you and your gnat. For instance, “I will stop eating in the lunchroom so that I am not tempted to participate in the gossip that so often happens there.”
- Discern – It may require that you spend some quiet time to determine the right course of action for your “lion” or “gnat.” In some cases, the right course of action may be to reframe your thinking and change your behavior. For instance, “This new project that got dumped on my desk is really a blessing in disguise because I can leverage the work I already did on a previous project.”
Now, commit to action:
- Write out separate lists of your “lions” and “gnats”
- Rank order the top 10 priorities for each list.
- Decide which “D” you’ll apply to each.
- Set a date for action on the Do’s and Delegate’s (or set a date to evaluate how well you’ve done with the Dump’s, Distance’s, and Discern’s).
- Check in regularly with your career coach to celebrate your progress.
Source: Career Coach Academy
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CAREER CORNER
If you are currently considering a career choice or change you have many resources available on internet sites to help you. A few of them are listed below to help you get started.
Career Information :
O*NET www.onetcenter.org
Occupational Outlook Handbook www.bls.gov/oco/
Career Zone www.nycareerzone.org/cdm
Career Info Net www.acinet.org/acinet
Head hunter web site www.headhunter.net
Career exposure www.careerexposure.net
Research
Tucson Public Library www.tppl.org
Salary ranges www.salary.com
Wet Feet companies and industries, people profiles www.WetFeet.com
Vault profiles 3000 companies in 40+ industries www.vault.com
JobStar collection of links to salary surveys www.JobStar.org
Bureau of Labor Statistics www.stats.bls.gov
Job Search
America ’s Job Bank www.ajb.org
Army Related Civilian Positions www.cpol.army.mil
Bigdeal Classified www.bigdealclassified.com
Career Mosaic www.careermosaic.com
Federal Jobs www.fedjobs.com
Help Wanted www.helpwanted.com
Online Career Center www.occ.com
Tucson Help Wanted www.tucsonhelpwanted.com
Virtual Job Fair www.vjf.com
State of Arizona Human Resources www.hr.state.az.us
Having someone to help you focus and guide your self exploration can save time and much frustration. Call to discuss your career decision needs.
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